I don’t yell
much, but I can think of times in my life where I have or had wanted to. I
would yell, because I was hurting and mad. I’d yell, because people don’t
always pay attention when you don’t say anything. I’d yell because I’m just so
tired of getting hurt.
much, but I can think of times in my life where I have or had wanted to. I
would yell, because I was hurting and mad. I’d yell, because people don’t
always pay attention when you don’t say anything. I’d yell because I’m just so
tired of getting hurt.
This has been a
really nasty cycle in my life. I’ve been open and vulnerable and trusted others.
I’ve let people within my walls of safety, and most times, I have gotten deeply
and profoundly hurt. I feel like my heart has been trampled over and over. When
people you trust hurt you it is way more painful. But, the truth is, we are all
hurting people, and hurt people hurt people. (myself included)
really nasty cycle in my life. I’ve been open and vulnerable and trusted others.
I’ve let people within my walls of safety, and most times, I have gotten deeply
and profoundly hurt. I feel like my heart has been trampled over and over. When
people you trust hurt you it is way more painful. But, the truth is, we are all
hurting people, and hurt people hurt people. (myself included)
Several years
ago, I trusted someone with my mess. I showed them the dark secrets in my
closet. They have seen every flaw, every scar, and every mistake. Things got
messy, and we both got hurt. No one was solely to blame really. However,
because they had seen every part of me, I was absolutely positive that was why
our friendship wouldn’t continue.
ago, I trusted someone with my mess. I showed them the dark secrets in my
closet. They have seen every flaw, every scar, and every mistake. Things got
messy, and we both got hurt. No one was solely to blame really. However,
because they had seen every part of me, I was absolutely positive that was why
our friendship wouldn’t continue.
But, I’m not writing
about who hurt me, or what they did, or why. I’m just writing to express how
suffocating and unbelievably painful it is to get burned. I’m writing to
explain how it feels to get your legs knocked out from under you and maybe how
we can find our footing again.
about who hurt me, or what they did, or why. I’m just writing to express how
suffocating and unbelievably painful it is to get burned. I’m writing to
explain how it feels to get your legs knocked out from under you and maybe how
we can find our footing again.
People my age
don’t always feel like it is acceptable to hurt or express how it really is.
But, as everyone knows, pain hurts, and it is real. I have a ton of learning to
do, but here are a few things I’ve figured out along the way.
don’t always feel like it is acceptable to hurt or express how it really is.
But, as everyone knows, pain hurts, and it is real. I have a ton of learning to
do, but here are a few things I’ve figured out along the way.
Grief is okay
Feelings are
terrible. They cause problems. Yet, they are beautiful. Often times, we are
told to just forget it and move on. I get the reasoning behind that, but you
don’t really just forget pain. You can’t escape it. All you can really do is
put it aside. That works temporarily, but eventually it will come back, and
usually more painful than before. Until you finally feel the full amount of
pain (without letting it consume you) you can’t really move past it. Fact.
terrible. They cause problems. Yet, they are beautiful. Often times, we are
told to just forget it and move on. I get the reasoning behind that, but you
don’t really just forget pain. You can’t escape it. All you can really do is
put it aside. That works temporarily, but eventually it will come back, and
usually more painful than before. Until you finally feel the full amount of
pain (without letting it consume you) you can’t really move past it. Fact.
Fact vs. Fiction
You can’t avoid
getting hurt. It is just a very crappy part of life. When trust fails,
relationships fail. When that happens, I am quick to blame myself. I know I’m
not alone in this.
getting hurt. It is just a very crappy part of life. When trust fails,
relationships fail. When that happens, I am quick to blame myself. I know I’m
not alone in this.
It’s my fault. If only I did THIS different or said THIS
instead. I DESERVE to be hurt.
instead. I DESERVE to be hurt.
Hold onto truth
especially during painful and emotional times. Hold onto who you are, what you
have become, and what you have overcome.
especially during painful and emotional times. Hold onto who you are, what you
have become, and what you have overcome.
Letting go is painful, but sometimes necessary
People come
into our lives for different reasons. Some will stay, some are meant to just
pass through. That is the painful truth.
Letting go is so painful. It is so easy to think you can fix it, or just
remember what was and not what is. There
comes a point in some relationships that nothing good will come from it
anymore. So, as painful as it is, you must let go.
into our lives for different reasons. Some will stay, some are meant to just
pass through. That is the painful truth.
Letting go is so painful. It is so easy to think you can fix it, or just
remember what was and not what is. There
comes a point in some relationships that nothing good will come from it
anymore. So, as painful as it is, you must let go.
In the end
So, when we get
hurt or even when we do the hurting…how do we trust again? If trust and
authentic love can cause so much pain, how can it be worth it? I don’t really
have a great answer.
hurt or even when we do the hurting…how do we trust again? If trust and
authentic love can cause so much pain, how can it be worth it? I don’t really
have a great answer.
What I can say is, the more hurt and broken I have felt, the more I was able to
heal. The more I was healing, the more the pieces go back together and I become
(more) whole. I truly believe that in the depths of the hurt, the pain, comes
true joy and peace.
I may not be
who I will become, but I am not who I was.
who I will become, but I am not who I was.
That is enough for me.
Peace
is not the absence of hurt, fear, anxiety, or brokenness. It is the ability to
be calm in your heart in the midst of all those things.
is not the absence of hurt, fear, anxiety, or brokenness. It is the ability to
be calm in your heart in the midst of all those things.
