The summer after I finished college, I spent it working at camp a few hours from my parents house. I was a lifeguard, which in itself is somewhat comical. Even though I spent the next four years as an aquatics director, the thought of a freckle face like me in the sun all summer makes me chuckle. Even though it was a rough summer, I did enjoy being on a lake most every day of the week.
It was near the end of the summer close to dinner on this particular day. The sun was setting on a hot and muggy summer day and my shift on the lake that day was nearing the end. I was on my last boat ride of the day. I was driving a cabin of middle school aged girls (and their counselor who was around my age) around the lake while a few were tubing behind. A storm was rolling in and the wind was picking up, but it was a normal day on the lake otherwise.
I remember very clearly that we were on the very last pair to go on the tube. A few minutes later, and I would have towed them in, and we would all be eating dinner. I was driving along and periodically checking the girls behind as well as the normal water traffic in front of us. As per the norm, both girls fell off the tube. I circled back and we retrieved the first floating middle schooler. They were all laughing and giggling and it was almost contagious.
I called out to the second girl, who was thrown a bit further than the first. She didn’t respond right away. I assumed I didn’t hear her and didn’t think anything of it. As I pulled closer to her, I saw she wasn’t moving around normally and was laying face up in the water. Something was wrong. I called out to her a second time and she still didn’t move. The weather had changed and a storm was coming by now. Without thinking, I dove in the water after her. I swam right up close and pulled her on my chest, just as I had been trained to do.
The instant I grabbed her life vest, she started flailing her arms, legs, and head around. It was obvious that she was not aware of what had happened. I pushed her away and she seemed to nearly pass out. I once again pulled by her life vest and brought her onto my chest. I started swimming towards the boat. The wind had picked up considerably and there was a very defined current that was going against us as I swam to the boat. I swam as hard as I could for what seemed like an hour and looked to see the progress. Due to the current, we were even farther away. Up until this point, I was able to stay calm and act off of instinct. Well, when I saw how far away the boat was drifting even after how hard I was swimming, panic started to set in. I felt as though I had already been swimming for so long, yet it felt as though we were going the wrong direction.
I pushed the girl further up on my chest, and used her life vest for both of us. Rain started to fall and the wind continued. I knew that I was running out of time and strength to get her (and myself) to the safety of the boat. I swam as hard as I could, but I was running out of strength and endurance. It felt as though there was nothing else I could. I was already doing everything in my power to get us both to safety, but I was just getting too tired and struggling for air myself. At that moment,the reality sank in that she was the one with the life jacket, and I was not.
I remember very vividly having a conversation with God in my head about the reality that I didn’t have a life jacket on. I just wanted so badly for her to be okay. I felt so helpless, scared, and tired. I then heard a voice over and over telling me to just stop swimming, which sounded pretty crazy as I would have drowned.I had nothing left. My human strength was gone. I made sure she was face up and safe and let her go, so I would stop pulling her down with me.
I finally said okay to God. I took one final breath, closed my eyes, and stopped swimming.
The instant I gave up and stopped swimming, I heard the voice tell me it would all be okay. Instantly, I felt a hand dive through the water and grip my left shoulder with very gentle strength.I heard the voice again, telling me to grab the girl and continue to swim. I grabbed her life jacket and swam with a new strength and endurance that I still cannot explain. Very shortly after, my hand finally hit the latter. With the help of the counselor, I was able to pull the girl onto the boat. The counselor had a cell phone and was able to call for help.
The rest of that day is a blur. I remember bits and pieces, but nothing flows together. I had to recount the event many times to camp management, medical staff, and water authority. The girl ended up being okay. She had a nasty concussion and other minor injuries. I walked away with bruises and scratches, but I was okay. We both swallowed a ton of water, but nothing major was wrong. It goes without saying, we both were extremely exhausted.
It took me a good amount of sleep and a day or two to really understand what had happened in the water that day. It is a lesson that I still need to be reminded of almost daily.
God is in control, even in the midst of struggle. He wants to fight for me, because I am not strong enough on my own. That day in the water, I hesitated. I questioned God’s plan and power, and my doubt could have caused the story to end much differently. But, it didn’t. God chose to extend his hand and rescue us from the water. He is more than enough.
All I have to do is accept that, trust him, and stop fighting with my own strength alone. All I have to do is accept his unconditional love, his unrelenting grace, and trust him. That my friends, is truly amazing.
He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at a moment I was in distress, but the Lord supported me.
Psalm 18:16-18