In college, I had a friend that decided she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. It was literally overnight and very unexpected. It was painful. It was hard. I literally felt sick to my stomach. That was the first real friendship I lost. I can’t describe how I felt. I was filled with hurt and confusion, and over time it changed to bitterness.
I had a hard time forgiving her. I held onto that for several years. Overtime, I realized that I wasn’t hurting her by holding onto that grudge. I was still hurt and still confused. It became evident that to truly find peace I would have to forgive her, even though she had not (and probably won’t) ever ask for it.
I also questioned why I was so reserved from forgiving her, when Christ has forgiven me for my sins. In the end, it was a heart issue. I was too stubborn and hurt to care. However, Christ gave us the ultimate model of how to interact with each other and love one another. It took time, but I learned that forgiveness is more about you than it is about the other person.
When I am hurt by someone else, I have realized the best way to heal is to forgive them. When I am struggling to forgive them, the best thing for me to do is to address my own stubborn heart. With time, God softens my heart and reminds me he is Good and how he has forgiven me time and time again.
Psalm 103:10-12
He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
After God forgives us, there is no bitterness or awkwardness. He doesn’t require us to “make up for it” or do anything. He just forgives. So, in the same way, we need to forgive each other.
If you are hurting from past scars or struggles, take it to the one who can heal those scars. He has the power to change our hearts and heal our wounds. (Psalm 147:3)
Keep on keeping on.
