Things you should never say to a Foster Parent:
I could never do what you do. I would get too attached.
Kids that come into the foster care system need stability and security, but even more than that they just need someone to love them. Often times (but not every time) foster care is the first time in a child’s life that an adult will love them and take care of them in a healthy way. So we love all out. When the child enters are home they immediately become part of the family. So, if and when they leave it is absolutely heartbreaking. But, if my heart didn’t break when they left did I love them with everything I had…did I give them what they needed most?
How much is each kid worth?
Raising kiddos in the US today is very expensive. Foster kids are no exception. From diapers to groceries, daycare, etc. While it is true that foster parents are reimbursed for some of these things, most of the time we are paying for them out of pocket…just like you. While there is a time and place to discuss our experiences, don’t ask me how much each kid is worth. They aren’t property.
You can’t help every child you know.
No, I can’t. In fact, I can help very little of the millions of kids in our country that need a home. But, I can help the kids in my home. I can love them today and for however long they are apart of our family.
What is the kids story?
In most states, foster parents are legally unable to share the kids “story.” We ourselves are given very little information about the child’s background unless it is need to know information. These children deserve dignity and respect just like your children. Their story is for them to tell only.
This is also why we (in Iowa at least) are not allowed to share their names or faces on social media. While they are apart of our family, we must protect them.
You are a super hero.
While I initially appreciate the compliment, I’m not a super hero. I’m not a saint or whatever else. Most days I’m tired. I’m frustrated with the system and I question whether it is worth it. Then, I remember the smiles…the giggles, and I remember it is completely worth all the heartache.
“To love deeply is to lose deeply and what a bittersweet gift that is. To know a love so deep that when it is gone we can physically feel the void. May we find the strength to love these borrowed babies well, with our all, if even for just a season.” -My Joyful Broken Heart
There are over 450,000 kids in foster care on any given day. There aren’t enough homes to care for them. If you are even a little bit interested in becoming a foster parent ask me how.