Ryan—The Ultimate Weirdo

I’m not this girl.

I’m not a “gusher” and I typically keep these parts of my life private. But, I will step out of my comfort zone today.

Meet Ryan.

My best friend, my husband, the father to my children, my adventure buddy, my lazy day buddy, and my partner in crime.

I’m not sure he knew exactly what he was getting himself into when he chose me, but it has been a wild ride.

(Almost) two years ago we stood in front of our closest family and friends and nervously yet confidently vowed to be joined together forever. I look back at our vows now, and I have to laugh.  Who knew that those vows would be so relevant every single day of our lives.

“Do you promise to encourage her, inspire her, and truly love her when you are together and when you are apart. When your lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil, when you are proud of her and when you are disappointed in her. Do you promise to passionately pursue her, pray for her and to empower her to do the things she dreams of. Will you love her unconditionally through all of life’s many adventures”

Let’s face it. I am not the easiest person to love or be married too. I’m slightly crazy, fiercely independent, and super high maintenance ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Yet, every day he chooses to pursue and love me. Even when I’m difficult. He always has my back.

We are figuring out this parenting thing. It’s no joke! Add some trauma and all that comes with it and that is our life. Hard, but worth it.

Ryan was the hesitant foster parent. It’s not because of the kids or behaviors. It’s because of the system and processes that make it so hard. We’ve only been fostering for a year and already have been burned a few times and our hearts broken more than that. He patiently sits and listens late at night when I’m crying AGAIN about situations. He lets me go on rants about injustices our kids have suffered and the problems with the system. He just listens and when I’m done he validates my feelings and tells me it will be okay.

He is the best father to our kids. He plays with them, hears them, holds them when they cry, has frequent dance parties and so much more. He doubts himself, but he is the best father to all of them.

We get a ton of compliments about fostering. I actually hate it. HATE IT. No, our kids aren’t “lucky” to have us and loving people should not get you the title of hero so flippantly. While, I hate it and grit my teeth every time I hear it I will say this. The reluctant foster parent who loves on, supports, and shows up for the kids in his home on the daily is the real hero. The hero is the one that knows they can’t save the world, but does their part anyway.

I never thought I would get married. I couldn’t fathom someone loving me that much. I’m so grateful that Ryan chose me. He is the laces to my shoes, the cheese to my cracker, and the peanut butter to my jelly. I’m so happy I get to do life with this goon.

He is a weirdo, but he is my weirdo.

Ryan. Thank you for being my very best friend. Thank you for always loving, supporting, and caring for me, our herd of children, Murphy, Mya, and Dwight the fish. You are pretty alright.