Reunification is the goal of foster care. This is said over and over during training. You sign up to welcome kids in your home with the goal of them leaving in an undetermined amount of time. Ryan and I have always supported the goal of every case we have been apart of. The goal is reunification. That time is upon us for Little Cub. He will be reunifying in just a few days.
Little cub came into our home on January 24th, 2019. His hair was very long and curly and his eyes are big and brown. The first couple weeks were rough. He never stopped moving and constantly wanted to eat. He didn’t really care what he was given…he just wanted to eat. Daycare was new and scary for him. He didn’t have many ways of communicating and all of that combined resulted in some tough days. Things with his case were also rough. I was overwhelmed and found myself in situations that I didn’t know how to handle. It was just a hard transition.
I remember the first time he met my family. It was at my niece’s fifth birthday party. We were swimming at the party and he clung to anyone that would hold him because he was terrified of the water. Throughout the time meeting my family he never really connected. In fact, it was MONTHS before he would even hug me or hold my hand walking places. Coming in to care is understandably scary. Little cub didn’t even smile or laugh much at all in the beginning.
Fast forward five and a half months to now. He is a completely different kid. He uses words and simple sign language and we can communicate with him much better now that he is a few months older. He enjoys dancing to anything but especially baby shark. He laughs and LOVES when he can make you laugh. He is so gentle with little man and the two of them have become great friends. Little cub loves swimming and playing in the sand box.
Several months ago, my mom gave him one of my nephew’s old ball caps. As a result, wearing a sideways or backwards hat has become little cub’s trademark style. He likes to make Little Man copy his style occasionally and it’s pretty adorable. We have gone through a couple but most of the time that is his first choice in clothing. He also asks about people and refers to people now. He enjoys both my sisters but he LOVES Kelly. He walks around often saying, “ke-wee, ke-wee, kim, ke-wee, kim.” Recently, he has also started referring to my parents as “sinee and baba.” When my dad facetimes and little cub hears his voice he drops everything and runs to say hello. I also am proud to say that he FINALLY is referring to me as “toto” which is close enough to koko I’ll take it!!
I narrowed them down and chose two favorite memories. The first one happened one morning as I went to wake him up and get him dressed. I opened the door and assumed he was still sleeping because he didn’t move when I opened the door. I moved closer to the closet and out of nowhere I hear a little voice say, “well, hello.” I said good morning and then had to leave the room to laugh. (His language skills have grown so much and he is constantly surprising me with what he knows!)
The other favorite memory actually happened several months ago. He was playing one day and said, “mama!” I slightly panicked as I assumed he was referring to me. I didn’t want him calling me that out of respect for his mother so I referred to myself as koko. He looked so confused. It happened a few more times. Then I realized…he wasn’t talking to me at all when he was saying it. After some trial and error I figured it out. He was referring to my dog Mya. (hey, mama is pretty close to Mya for a toddler.) It was so sweet and he is a big fan of hers and still calls her mama.
Little cub is going HOME. He is joining his mom and siblings. He belongs with them. I love this kid. I will miss his laugh and mischievous smile. As much as I will miss him, I know that he needs to be with his family. Our chapter together is over. That doesn’t mean I stop loving him. When you bring a child into your home you also bring them into your life and into your heart. He will always be there. Even though he is leaving for a good thing and we have known this for a few weeks, kids leaving is one of the hardest, strangest and most different parts of our life.
So long little cub. Ryan and Koko love you so much. The goal of foster care is reunification. We have reached the goal.
Koko
