The word “relentless” has always been special to me. I have many stories as to why and will probably share those a different time. This word was spoken over me many years ago and I actually have it inscribed on my body. I was never really sure exactly why it captured me until our adoption journey.
We can finally see the finish line in our journey. As our tribe knows, getting to this point was costly, strenuous, and at times seemingly impossible. Two weeks ago, we were selected to adopt him. Our journey is so close to the finish line.It would have been easier to quit. It would have been easier to give in and have my heart broken. We chose early on that we would never quit. We would do anything in our power to keep him in our family. Not because we are wonderful people. We aren’t. We fought and never quit because he is worth it. I would do anything to fight for that little boy.
Ultimately, along this journey I realized that this fight was worth it, because I WAS FOUGHT FOR. Relentlessly.
My God loved me and chose to fight for me. He chose to die for me. He chose to love me regardless of my flaws. He said I was worth it even though he knew I would fail him time and time again. I was worth fighting for, so in some ways it was easy to fight for little man relentlessly. The picture of what it looks like to fight and love relentlessly became real to me through our journey. It took many years, but a lesson I began to learn years ago became real and tangible through a gift that will be my son.
That is immeasurable.
Friends, you are loved too. Relentlessly. You are worth fighting for. You were worth DYING for. You are worth the pain. He sees your flaws. He sees what you don’t put on instagram or facebook. He sees what you do when no one is watching and still loves you more than you can ever think or imagine.
This fight to keep our family together was ultimately not won in a courtroom. It was not won with the thousands that were spent or the words of an influential lawyer. It was not won because we were lucky. It was not even won on the pages of law books. Friends, this battle was won in the heavenly realms. It was won during the nights that sleep was hard to come by, the tears were flowing, and prayers were the only thing that helped the anxiety. It was won in the helpless moments that we reached heavenward in desperation.It was won through his strength which covered our brokenness. It was won with the prayers in Council Bluffs, Marshalltown, Des Moines, Omaha, Pensacola, New Orleans, Mississippi, Colorado, Idaho, California, Texas, Minnesota, Canada, the Dominican Republic, Brazil, Zambia, India, and too many other places to name and many we don’t even know. It was won by the strength and power of my father God who ultimately knew exactly what he was doing the whole time.
If there is anything you learn or remember about our story please have it be this: Friends, you are so loved. God loves you regardless of the choices or circumstances you find yourself in. You can’t do anything to make God love you more and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make him love you more. He loves you RELENTLESSLY. Be loved.
I can’t wait to tell my son this story.
Koko
