We’ve been a legal family for a little over three weeks now. I don’t think we have quite come down from cloud 9 yet. Maybe it is the pandemic, because life hasn’t gone back to “normal” yet, or maybe the excitement just hasn’t truly worn off yet. I LOVE saying I have a SON. Not a foster son, not an adopted son, but just our son.
Tripp turned 18 months recently and we had his well child visit. We still see the doctor that delivered him and the nurse was actually there when Tripp was born. So, it was a particularly fun visit with congratulations, a new toy from his favorite nurse, and no shots! He is a healthy and happy not-so little boy. I love life with him.
Later that day, I went to the store for our weekly grocery shopping adventure. I went into the store and was 100% in my own world. I think I even had music in. I was headed back to the milk section when I saw Tripp’s first dad.
It’s been almost a year to the day that I have seen him. I don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable at all, but I wanted to let him lead the interaction if there was going to be one. He walked by me and said, “I hope your family is well.” I smiled and said the same to him. He nodded and walked by. It was pleasant and I thought that is how we were going to leave it, which would have been just fine.
About a minute later, as I was shutting the milk door, he came back. He looked down and said, “Hey, I just want to let you know I’m doing well. I enlisted and I am leaving for boot camp this summer.” He told me over a year ago that he wanted to be in the military. He definitely got through barriers to make that happen and I am genuinely happy for him and told him that.
What he said next reached to my heart. He paused then looked directly in my eyes.
“He doesn’t need a dad, because he already has one of those that loves him more than anything. But, I just want him to be proud of me one day.”
Oh my heart.
Man, my son is loved. See, adoption is not about that. It isn’t about a child’s biological parents not loving them in most cases. We live in a very broken and dark world. Sometimes our choices or life circumstances limit our abilities to care for others or even ourselves. Kids don’t deserve the consequences of that. However, that doesn’t mean that the love between those biological parents and their children doesn’t exist.
I will tell him about his first parents. I will tell him how his first dad made a choice so Tripp could have a better life. I will tell him it wasn’t because his first dad didn’t love him, but it was because he loved him. I can’t wait to share that. I know he will be proud of his first dad.
I think it would take alot for a man to acknowledge the love and connection that another man has for his biological son. I think it would take so much to make that choice to not be broken by that decision but to thrive. I have much respect for that.
Our son is the center of our world. He is the light on a dark day and even when he is dramatic or crabby he fills me with joy. I love teaching him about the world. I love showing him how much he is loved by us and our father in heaven. I enjoy teaching him how to love others even at a young age. I love that we were given this precious gift.
Our greatest joy came at another’s loss. That is not lost on me. It is a privilege and honor to be his mama.
Sometimes, you get a little joy in the milk aisle.
Koko
