If I admitted every single time I wanted to throw in the towel on being a foster parent, It would be insanely embarrassing. Simply put I know some people have the tolerance and patience of a saint and I am nothing like them.
When a case is stagnant and it feels like no one cares that these kids are in limbo, I’m frustrated and would love to tap out.
When bio parents have the nerve to try and blame us for something we had nothing to do with, I’m angry and would love to bow out.
When a child who you have sacrificed so much for physically assaults you, I feel defeated and would love to tap out.
These are just a few examples, but I am telling you the truth. I have wanted to quit a lot more than I share publicly.
I crave normalcy, calm, and ease. I desire a schedule that isn’t dictated by the system at times. I long for comfort. Sometimes I even drum up excuses as to why I no longer should foster or why we should never consider adopting again.
I’m confessing all of this because even though I haven’t given up, I need you to know that there have been many moments I’ve thought about it. I need you to know that I’m not as tough or strong as I want you to believe.
The fact is that there are over 400,000 kids in our country that need a home today. There are kids in horrible situations that need a safe place and people to love them whether that is short term or forever. There aren’t enough homes for all of them. Thousands of kids age out of the system without a forever family EVERY SINGLE DAY.
If you are worried that you are not patient enough, flexible enough, or empathetic enough to be a foster or adoptive parent please hear me say: ME TOO. And that’s exactly why you should consider being a foster parent. That is exactly why you should consider adopting. It will grow and stretch you in ways you never imagined. It just might change your life.
Koko