Today, I posted one sentence on my facebook page.
“I have never felt so rejected as I do inside the walls of a church. #satansucks”
I stand by those words. That is my truth.
In the hours after posting, many people reached out to me privately through social media and to my cell phone. Most of them have been so kind and offered many words of encouragement. So many people who I don’t normally talk to just offer to listen or offer support as I am not the only one who has ever felt such a sentiment. A few people have been less than encouraging and kind. Ironically, ALL of those people profess to follow Jesus.
Disclaimer for the rest of this post: I’m not perfect. I don’t claim to be. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve hurt people. I own that. If that is you, know that I want to do better. Claiming my perfection is the farthest thing from what I’m expressing.
Yes, you read that correctly. The people that were not kind, that were quite frankly hurtful and mean, are all people that profess to follow Jesus. Which is both horrendous and also exactly what I am talking about.
The church is made up of broken people. God doesn’t require you to be better in order to love him and follow him. But, we as a western Church are chasing people away based on how we treat one another. Today, one unkind person made me feel like my feelings were invalid. The feelings behind the statement were not even addressed….simply that I was making Christians look bad and I shouldn’t do that in a public forum. Homie, we Christians don’t need any more help looking bad–WE ALREADY LOOK BAD. (yes, that includes me) For the record, I am entitled to my feelings about experiences that have happened to me and my family. Just like everyone else is entitled to their own experiences.
I don’t hide my faith. I also don’t push it into anyone’s face. Why? Because that isn’t what Jesus did. Don’t agree with me? Read your bible. Read how Jesus interacted with people. It was not in a condemning way….even when his disciples and those around him did stupid things. Jesus was a man that loved other people. He wasn’t the leader of an exclusive holier than thou group. He met people where they were at. He regularly did life with those who were outcasted by society.
I think we as western christians have really perverted what Christianity and the church were intended to be. We have made it a popularity contest. We have made it a place with intense and judgemental rules and a place filled with ridiculous dogma. We have made it about us and less about loving others. Again, that includes me.
I guess I am writing this to express gratitude for those of you who were gracious and kind in my moment of being real. I am also writing this to urge everyone reading this who claim to follow Jesus to really check themselves. All of us need to. We need to follow the church less, and follow Jesus more. We need to love without conditions more. We need to place less judgement on each other.
I stand by my words, even when people turn against me for saying them. They aren’t the ones I’m living for. I hope and pray to find a community….somewhere to belong. I’ll pray that for you too.
Thanks.
Koko