Tomorrow, March 25th 2022, is Tripp’s forever day. He has been adopted for TWO years already. It is so crazy to think that day was two years ago. In some ways, it seems like a lifetime ago. In other ways, it seems like yesterday.
Even two years later, I have so many deep feelings about his adoption day. There were days that I truly did not think it would come. There were many days I thought the broken system would win and he would leave me. So, his adoption day wasn’t just about becoming a family. It was about surviving and beating the system. It was about preserving OUR family. Adoption day was the culmination of tears, heartache, and prayers of so many people. I have realized in recent days I still carry secondary trauma from those days. It is a topic I am just starting to be able to unpack and heal from. (More on secondary trauma coming soon!)
My little boy has grown into a little man. He is smart and funny. He loves preschool and books. He is one that feels very deeply. He cries big tears when he misses his cousins or when we have to leave grandma and grandpa’s house. He loves very deeply. He also loves to laugh and be outside.
One of his favorite things to do is make treasure maps and go on a treasure hunt. He gives the best hugs and kisses me all the time. Tripp and Jon definitely pick on each other and drive each other nuts. But, they love each other and Tripp protects Jon. When Jon is upset, Tripp without prompting will go find Jon’s blanket to wrap him up. Tripp is such a good human.
This morning, while I was driving my kids to preschool and daycare, I reminded Tripp that tomorrow is his forever day. He is only three and Jon is only two. So, they don’t understand their stories. We choose to celebrate days like their forever day so they never feel an ounce of negative about their adoption stories. Adoption ALWAYS starts with a loss, but my kids had no choice. We celebrate their resilience. We celebrate that they have been loved since the day they were born. We celebrate our family while also doing our best to honor their bloodlines.
One unexpected joy that came out of a hard situation is that Tripp has a great relationship with his older brother and younger sister. We are friends with their family and have regular play dates. I’m so very thankful for that relationship and that Jon is also loved by his siblings and their family. It was so awesome to celebrate their adoption days as well. I’m thankful that he can know and love them.
Tomorrow we will eat orange cookies and spend some time with just Tripp. We will read his book and remind him that he is our miracle child. We will laugh and celebrate our family together. Most likely, we will have a dance party too because that is one of Tripp’s favorite things to do.
Many people who will read this remember Tripp’s adoption journey. You stood with us in the trenches. You made us food when our world was shocked that hard September day. You prayed for us to stay a family. You answered the phone when I called to vent AGAIN. You reminded me that good would win. You checked in on our family when it seemed like the pandemic would delay adoption day. You celebrated with us even from great distances as we became a forever family. I’ve always felt like Tripp’s adoption day was a great finish line for all of us. In reality, adoption day is the end of one chapter and the start of the next.
With Joy,
Koko.
Tripp Kiernan,
You are loved beyond measure. Your life is proof that God exists and he is in control. Your story is proof that light and love will always win. Know that you and Jon are my greatest joys and favorite answer to prayer. Know that I’m fully aware that life with you is a gift. I love watching you grow. I will always love you more than my being. Love mama.
(Again, let me be clear. Tripp’s biological parents lost rights very early on. When we talk about the broken system and how corrupt it is and how Tripp was used as a pawn, we are not talking about denying the opportunity for reunification. We supported the goal of his case at every single step. His legal right to permanency was delayed for close to seven months based on corruption and morally bankrupt workers who had an agenda and have since acknowledged their actions and been held accountable)