I’m not really sure how heaven works, but if I could meet one person (other than Jesus himself) in heaven one day, I would definitely pick Paul. Paul was a crazy dude with a crazy story. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, start reading the book of Acts tomorrow and you will see for yourself.
Paul went through so many hard things. He was blinded for one and got his sight back a few days later, he was beaten up ALOT, arrested for something he didn’t do, sent to Rome and shipwrecked on the way, was bitten by a snake, held hostage for years, and was finally killed for his faith. I’m pretty sure I missed over half of the events in his life, but those are just the ones that come to mind first. Paul went through some stuff.
In Philippians, Paul was writing to the church in Philippi. I think it is commonly thought that Paul wrote this when he was under house arrest in Rome during the years he was waiting for his trial. This would have been towards the end of his life. Philippians 1 sort of feels like Paul is reflecting about the trials he experienced up until that point.
It’s almost New Years and this is a normal time to be reflecting on the past. In truth, I have been in a season of reflection and looking back longer than just this time of year. I think it is good to reflect on your past, but how you reflect is important in order to be productive. This is something I am currently learning and working through. I definitely don’t have this all sorted out.
Sometimes reflecting on the past can leave you almost emotionally paralyzed. You may look back over what happened to you and it can cause resentment. Facebook memories and old pictures in my phone are easy culprits for this. The people in those smiles were supposed to be standing by you for the long run and they are now nowhere to be found. You may become resentful of opportunities you didn’t get or doors that shouldn’t have closed or acknowledgement you didn’t get. As you reflect, it is important to not enter a state of resentment.
You also do not want to be in a state of regret. I actually think resentment and regret are similar. I think the only difference is that resentment is outward, and regret is inward. Regret is such a huge tool for the enemy to use. You can’t change the past. You can’t go back and not make that mistake that led to the hurt. You can’t go back and not have that harm come to you. So, while reflecting on your past, slipping into a state of regret can be detrimental and cause you to be stuck there.
If you do reflection right, you won’t experience resentment or regret. Instead, you will experience resolution. (Hey look at me…all R’s!) I think that is the right kind of reflection. I think this is exactly the kind of reflection Paul demonstrates in Philippians 1. His reflection demonstrated in that letter is something I want to strive for in my own life.
In Philippians 1:12-20, Paul lays his perspective out. He states that everything he went through was worth it because it was God’s plan and contributed to his kingdom. Paul demonstrates that your outlook on your current situation does not have to be defined by the events that lead you there.
Everyone has experienced hard things. Some worse than others of course, but everyone has scars of the past. Paul shows us that our perspective is important. He seemed almost honored that he was chosen to suffer.
Now, let me tell you. I’m not there. I think that is something I want for my life, but I am not there yet. The hurt still hurts and there is still pain I carry that I haven’t been able to see the purpose in yet. Truthfully, I think I may never know the purpose and that is okay. I can’t control that, but I can control my perspective, similar to what Paul shows us.
Paul experienced so many hard things, yet he chose to not feel like he was abandoned in that letter near the end of his life. He chose to be okay with not knowing. He believed that God allowed hard things to happen for a purpose. Paul essentially says that he is thankful for all the hard things he went through because through his weaknesses and failures, God showed up. Wow.
When Paul was writing that letter, his situation was still not settled. He was still waiting for his trial, and he waited for years, but Paul wasn’t upset by the waiting. Paul shows us that resolution of your past is not an event, but a choice.
For me, I think that choice comes daily, for now at least. Daily I can choose to be thankful for my scars because even though I have them they remind me that God got me through, he gives me a purpose, and I am never alone.
As you reflect on the past year, I encourage you to join me in reflecting with the purpose of resolution. Paul showed us that resolution leads to healing and healing leads to growth. I am not where Paul was at. I am not thankful for the hard things I have experienced. I am hopeful that I will get there one day, one choice at a time.
Philippians 1:19-20 for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20 as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.
KM