Both of my sons are adopted. I have known them each since their first week of life, but I didn’t become their mom until they were each almost two. When you are close to adopting a child, the adoptive family must select what the child’s name upon adoption will be. Now, I’m not going to get into the controversy of changing a child’s name. I know both sides of the debate intimately and have my own perspectives on the matter, but that isn’t what I’m writing about today. So, just know I recognize both sides of the debate.
My youngest son was an easy decision. His given name is Jonathan Michael. My dad’s name is John and Ryan’s dads name is Michael. There were also no other concerns with keeping his given name intact. My oldest son was in a very different situation altogether. My son’s story is not mine to share, so you will just have to take my word for it.
While he wasn’t adopted until he was 17 months old, we knew early on that if adoption were ever an option, that he would deserve a new name. In fact, very few people actually ever called him his given name. Doctors were pretty much the only ones. He always went by a nickname even by lawyers and state workers. He was so frequently called this nickname that most people in our daily lives were not even aware of his actual name. (Bonus points to anyone who remembers that nickname.)
The day we were selected as his forever family, I took a phone call from his guardian ad litem (his lawyer.) When she called to extend her congratulations and help guide us to next steps, she asked if we had settled on a new name. She said something that I still remember. She stated, “a name carries so much weight and meaning. It doesn’t matter what he has been called or what has happened so far in his little life. As his parents, you are the only ones who have the right and authority to give him his name.”
I have been reading in the old testament and a common theme is identity. God reminds his people who they are over and over again. Over and over again, he reminds his people they are chosen and set apart. He reminds them they used to be in darkness, but are now in the light. Over and over he reminds them they are chosen and have an inheritance in heaven.
Yet over and over, the people of Israel forget their identity. They were not willing to trust God regarding who they were. Their identity as God’s chosen people was challenged and time and time again, the people of Israel would break down and forget who they were. Israel had consequences for their unbelief, yet every time, the Lord would show himself and remind them who they were.
In the book of Genesis, there was a woman named Hagar. Hagar had been hurt by people she was supposed to be able to trust. People who should have loved and protected her used and abused her instead. Hagar was cast into the wilderness, and she was hopeless and full of shame and despair. She found herself alone in the desert as a result of her experiences.
Scriptures tell us her tears were blurring her eyes, and she couldn’t even see straight. Then the angel of the Lord shows up and reminds Hagar who she was. The angel reminded Hagar that she was not what was done to her, but her identity was in who God says she was.
I have been Hagar so often in my life. I have often been just like the children of Israel. I forget who I am over and over and I allow my circumstances, experiences, and scars to give me an identity. I have been Hagar and chances are, you have too.
We are only exactly who God says we are. When we named our son, my husband and I were the only authority that could give him his new name. In the exact same way, God alone has the authority and right to give us our name, our identity when he adopts us into his family. No one else is qualified to do so.
Identity is everything.
Past circumstances in your life may have changed you, but they do not have the power to define you. Your past may have left scars, but they are not authorized to label you. The things people have called you may have hurt you, but that hurt does not shape who you are.
You are not defined by your past. You are not defined by your behavior. You are not defined by your feelings. You are not defined by your circumstances. You are not defined by the things that hurt you. You are who God says you are.
He alone defines who you are and he has given you a name. You have been chosen, redeemed, qualified, and loved. You are not a mistake or an afterthought. You are not a liability.
You are who God says you are. The circumstances swirling around you may be difficult, and past events may shape the soundtrack of how you speak to yourself, but none of those things are who you are.
According to scripture, we can have peace with God. The Holy Spirit lives inside of us and we are helped by God. We are reconciled, not condemned. We are completely forgiven and completely free. We are loved by God. We are God’s masterpiece, his friend, and dearly loved. Scriptures tell us we are salt and light, a royal priesthood, and through God alone we can do all things.
May we never take for granted that we have a God who will move heaven and earth just to remind us who we are over and over again. My prayer today is for everyone I love to have their identity rooted in who God says we are.
We are who he says we are.
KM