We survived the arctic freeze that January and February brought and have now entered fake spring. March is just around the corner and the best season of the year is here. SOCCER SEASON!
I’ve been around the game since I was four years old. From playing through college and coaching at youth, college, and high school levels, I’m a little bit of a soccer junky. Last year, I was a head coach for the first time in our new little town. I was so nervous and remember having so much anxiety before every practice. I just wanted to have a winning record–that was my actual goal of the season.
I’ll spare all the details, but our team ended up on a crazy run to the state semi-finals with an 18-3 record. CRAZY! I hate being in the spotlight and love to point that back to my assistant coaches and the players. Afterall, we are a team. I have been interviewed several times since the season and I am frequently asked, “how did you do it?” Honestly, I don’t really know how to answer that question.
Despite our unexpected success last season, I fully recognize that I have so much more learning and growing to do. As much as I know about soccer, what most people don’t see is that coaching, especially as a head coach, is significantly more than just the on-field tactics.
As I prepare for this season, I have taken some intentional time to reflect on my own journey. Through recreation soccer, club soccer, premier soccer, high school soccer, and college soccer as an athlete and a coach. I challenged myself to write down everything I want to be as a coach, as a leader, and ultimately as a human. Sharing that with the world, here are my top 25 tenets of coaching:
- What you allow is what you’ll get. Culture is built on the behaviors you tolerate.
- Energy is contagious. Your players feed off your attitude-bring it every day.
- The best teams are player-led. Develop leaders who take ownership.
- Consistency builds trust. If you aren’t consistent, your players won’t believe in you.
- The fundamentals always matter. A great team never outgrows the basics.
- Prepare with a purpose. A great plan beats great intentions.
- Little things are the big things. Details win games.
- Effort is non-negotiable. You can’t coach heart, but you can demand effort.
- The scoreboard is a liar. Focus on the process, not just the outcome.
- Patience is part of the job. Progress takes time-trust the journey.
- Players don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
- Listen more than you speak. Connection starts with understanding.
- Every player is different. Coach individuals, not just systems.
- Praise effort, not talent. Build confidence in what they can control.
- Be present. Players will remember how you made them feel.
- Lead by example. Your actions set the tone for the whole team.
- Accountability starts with you. Hold yourself to the same standards you expect.
- Adversity reveals character. Tough moments are where true leadership shines.
- Your job is to serve, not control. Great leaders lift others up.
- Culture is built every day. It’s not a one-time talk-it’s a constant commitment.
- Winning is a byproduct of preparation. FOcus on what leads to success.
- Celebrate progress. Don’t wait until it’s perfect to acknowledge growth.
- Your words have power. Be intentional with how you speak to your team.
- Stay humble in victory and gracious in defeat. How you handle both matters.
- Never stop learning. The best coaches are lifelong students of the game and of life.
I haven’t perfected any of these, but they are the core of what I strive to be. I love soccer, but I love the people and experiences it has brought me more. So much about life I learned with a ball at my feet and I’m extremely excited to continue that journey in a few weeks.
Kourtney/Coach K
#rollcards